


Ready? Okay!

by summerbutterfly



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cameos, Cheerleaders, Genderbending, Humor, Other, Snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-01
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-08 22:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/448461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerbutterfly/pseuds/summerbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yohji's the new kid.  Ken and girl!Schu are the bitchy cheerleaders.  Let the fun begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot ep: New Kid in Town

**Author's Note:**

> For Orphaned Mission #14 @ wk_reverse_fest on LJ. Could very possibly turn into a series if I get my act together. Warnings for crack and unapologetic _Mean Girls_ references.

Academy of the Rosey Cross was his third school in as many years, and Yohji was about as excited to matriculate to this one as he had been with Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity the year before and Sheenay Military Academy the year before that. In other words, not at all, and no amount of cajoling by his clueless parents was going to change his perception. Rosey Cross was just another ugly uniform, yuppie-centric private school to add to his ever-growing list of ugly uniform, yuppie-centric private schools.

Or at least it was until _they_ showed up.

“Oi, fresh meat.” The girl with the long, red pigtails plopped herself on his desk, black and pink plaid skirt fanning out to cover most of his unfinished homework. “What’s with the face? You look like you want to hang someone off the flagpole by their testicles.” 

“Jesus, Suze, could you _be_ more inappropriate?” The dark haired boy who’d accompanied her over gave the girl a hard shove to the shoulder. “Can’t you just comment that the guy looks emo without bringing up dicks?”

“I like dicks.” Suze crossed her legs and flashed Yohji a rather unnerving smile. “And I’m _very good_ at bringing them up. By the way, I’m Suze. This is Ken. Who the hell are you?” 

“Uh...Yohji.”

“Yohji, huh? That’s weird.”

“It’s Japanese.”

“Yeah? You a military brat or something?”

“No.”

“Just a regular brat, then?” Suze leaned back on her hands. “Your file says this is your third transfer since starting high school. To be honest, I find that kinda hot, but only if it’s because you’re one hell of a badass and not because your family keeps getting bounced around.”

Her unnerving smile glinted in the light of the classroom’s florescents. Intrigued in spite of himself, Yohji folded his arms. “How did you get into my file?” 

“Oh, I have friends. It’s amazing what a freshman will do for you with the right encouragement.” 

“Tipping him off to when the male cheerleaders were showering is extortion,” Ken muttered, “not encouragement.”

“Shut up, Ken. It’s _my_ squad.”  
“No, it’s _our_ squad. And I was in that shower!” 

“Boo hoo hoo. Little freshman saw your shrinky dink.” Suze waved him off and returned her attention to Yohji. “What are you doing after school today, fresh meat?”

“Uh...that math teacher Takatori is making me try out for football,” Yohji replied. 

“Ew.” Suze wrinkled her nose. “Why?”

“I dunno. He said I’d be good at it. And then he said if I didn’t go, he’d make me clean the science labs for two months.”

“Tch. That _asshole_ ,” Suze hissed. “He is _always_ stealing the good ones out from underneath me!”

Ken coughed, and Suze shot him a glare that could have cut glass. 

“Anyway,” she went on, “meet us in the varsity locker room when you’re done.” 

“Huh?” Yohji asked. “Why?” 

“Look, don’t argue with her if you know what’s good for you,” Ken advised. “Just say yes.” 

“Okay. Fine. Yes.” 

“Good!” Suze hopped to the floor. “Oh, and I promise it’s not about dicks. Unless, of course, you want it to be.”

“No,” Ken yelled. “No more talking about dicks!” 

The room turned to stare.

Suze twirled and flounced out of the room.

Yohji gathered up his scattered homework and wondered what the hell kind of school he’d just enrolled in.

****  
Football ended at 5:30, and Yohji made his way to the locker room, sweaty, smelly and covered in grass. He hadn’t _hated_ practice exactly, but he hadn’t loved it either. Especially not when coach had declared he’d make the cut and handed him a jersey and the team had decided to celebrate by dogpiling. The lead linebacker, a kid with an eyebpatch named Jay, had tackled him halfway down the field before he’d even had a chance to say a word.

Utterly weird.

And kind of painful.

“Fresh meat. You’re late.” 

Yohji blinked. Suze was lying across one of the locker room benches thumbing through a copy of _Teen Vogue_. Behind her, Ken showered like it was no big deal.

“Uh...” Yohji began, but Suze cut him off.

“Don’t even say it,” she warned. “I’m not dating Ken. We are co-captains and nothing more. I’m so _sick and tired_ of that rumor, it’s not even funny!”

“Yeah, um, totally not where I was going with that, but okay.” Yohji set his football helmet down. “So you...always hang out in here?” 

“Eh?”

“Suze, this is the...”

“She knows.” Ken looked at Yohji over his shoulder. “But trust me when I tell you, you’ve got nothing she hasn’t seen.” 

Yohji looked back at Suze, who pressed a finger to her lips. 

Yohji decided to drop that line of inquiry. 

“So,” Suze said. “Tell me you hated practice.”

Yohji rubbed the back of his sweaty neck. “Well, I didn’t _love_ it, but...”

“But Takatori is a big, annoying, testosterone-filled windbag who gets off watching teenage boys molest each other in tight clothing?”

“No. But thanks for the nightmare fuel.” 

“You’re welcome. Now, when are you going to quit?”

“Quit? Who said I was going to quit?”

“I did. And since I’m way prettier than Takatori, I win.”

“Uh, yeah. I probably should let you know up front that you’re not my type. I don’t date cheerleaders. Or anything below a C-cup.” 

Suze sat up, blue eyes wide. “Keeennnn,” she whined. “Are you going to let him talk to me like that?”

“I’m not your boyfriend,” Ken reminded her. He shut off the water and grabbed a towel. “And if you don’t like it, don’t be such a narcissistic pain in the ass.”

Suze folded her arms. “I’m _not_ narcissistic!” She glowered for a moment, then re-centered her attention on Yohji. “Okay, fine. Here’s the deal. I need a base. I have this guy Ran who is essentially too emo to function and he keeps dropping our flyers because he’s too busy brooding. We have three weeks to regionals. I _refuse_ to have this be the one year we don’t make a national cut because we can’t hold a stupid pyramid, so I need your help. I need to dump Ran off the squad and put you in his place.”

“Why me?” Yohji asked.

“You’re the right height,” Ken replied. “In fact, you’re taller, which is even better. Also, you don’t have arms that look like twigs.” 

“Hey! Ran was the best I could do on short notice,” Suze snapped. 

“You mean you were the best _he_ could do, don’t you?” 

The jab echoed in the ensuing uncomfortable silence. 

Suze lifted her chin. “You know, I am really over your anti-feminist slut-shaming, Ken. I’ll have you know I have not had sex outside a committed relationship, nor do I intend to. And just because we kissed that _one time_ doesn’t give you the right to...”

“Is everything all right in here, gentleman?”

Suze was on her feet, the picture of teenage innocence, in less than a second. “Principal Crawford!” she exclaimed. “W...what are you doing here so late?”

“I had a conference.” Principal Crawford looked at each of them in turn, the lenses of his glasses catching in the dim light. “Also, what have I said about being in the boy’s locker room, Suze? You know it makes a lot of the young men at Rosey Cross uncomfortable.” 

“I know, sir, but since it was just Ken...”

“But it’s not just Ken. Mr. Kudoh is here, too. Is this really the impression you want to give a new student?”

To Yohji’s disbelief, Suze actually hung her head. 

 

“No, sir,” she murmured. “I...I apologize.”

Principal Crawford sighed. “I appreciate that, Suze, but I still need to see you in my office.”

“But...!”

“Now.” 

“Yes, sir.”

Yohji could only stare as the stern-faced principal led the dejected cheerleader from the room. 

That is, until Ken clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. She’s going to be fine.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Yohji said. “I just don’t like seeing people get busted for bullshit reasons.” 

“Busted?” Ken shook his head. “Yohji, man, you’ve got a lot to learn about how things work around here.”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? The first rule of attending Rosey Cross is to never take anything at face value. Especially not when it concerns Suze and Principal Crawford.”

Yohji looked at the door, then looked back at Ken. “I’m not following.” 

“That’s good,” Ken said. “Because if you were, I’d probably lose a nut. Now, go get changed so we can talk cheerleading.” 

****  
In the end, pressure from Principal Crawford made it possible for Yohji to be on both teams, though Coach Takatori was far from happy, and Ran was far from complacent when he found out he’d lost his spot.

“That’s bullshit!” he yelled. “Everybody drops Sakura because she insists on bathing her legs in that stupid smelly lotion!”

“Lotion or not, you broke her arm, fractured her shin and made her chip a tooth. And I can’t have that kind of negligence on my squad.” Suze tossed her ponytail. “You’re out, Ran. Kudoh’s in. Bye.”

“But...”

“YOU CAN’T CHEER WITH US. BYE.”

Ran glared. And fumed. And then stripped off his letter sweater and slammed it on the ground. 

And Yohji did _not_ inch behind Ken as he stormed by. Not even a little bit. 

Because that would be totally unmanly.

“Okay, so. Squad, this is Yohji.” Suze smiled brightly as Ran’s dust cleared. “Yohji these are the Rosey Cross Rebel Cheerleaders. Say hello, everyone.”

“Hi, Yohji!”

The squad waved, a sea of shimmering pompoms.

Yohji waved back lamely. 

“So Yohji is going to practice with us on Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Suze went on, “and play football Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We’re going to get him up to speed as fast as we can, but just keep in mind that this is his first time and he’s going to need a little coaching. So if you don’t feel like he’s ready for something, _say_ so.”

A small girl in what looked like a purple wig raised her hand. “Who’s going to be his partner since Sakura’s out?”

“I’m going to move Birmadette into Sakura’s position, and take her spot with Ken. Toni can do the floor work as a solo.” 

“Uh, you’re not a flyer,” Ken said, and Suze turned on him with what Yohji was realizing was her patented Shut-Up-Ken Glare.

“Are you calling me fat, Ken?” 

There was a not-so-quiet gasp from the other girls present. Purple girl even whimpered.

“What I think of your ass has nothing to do with the fact that you haven’t stunted since you were a freshman,” Ken returned. “Or did you conveniently forget that the reason we put Sakura on the squad was because she was shorter than you and could go higher?”

Suze stalked right up into Ken’s personal space. “Did _you_ forget that now there _is_ no Sakura? And we cannot have a lopsided pyramid?”

Nose to nose, the two captains stared each other down.

Ken blinked first.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Suze turned to the squad. “Line up,” she commanded. “We’re running the routine from the top. Yohji, Birmadette, you watch.”

“Suze...” Ken tried, but Suze wasn’t listening.

“Line _up_ , people. You are wasting my time!”

Suze stomped to the front of the group. Birmadette, a slender, pretty brunette, touched Yohji’s arm and moved him off to the side.

“Why do I have a feeling this is going to end badly?” Yohji asked when they were out of earshot.

“Because it is,” Birmadette replied. “Because there is no reasoning with Suze when she’s like this. At her best, she’s a little bit arrogant and a whole lot bitchy, but a really good cheerleader. At her worst, she’s an absolute tyrant.”

“Ready?” Suze yelled. “Okay!”

The field burst to life. Pink and black skirts twirled and bodies bounded into positions that made Yohji a little bit queasy. Ken, at the head of the small group of boys, threw a gymnastic combination that was nothing short of dizzying, and then stopped on a dime to catch Suze as she flipped backwards. 

But when he went to lift her, everything went wrong.

It was hard to see exactly what happened. And it was hard to place blame for that reason. All Yohji knew was that Ken was off-center, and Suze didn’t quite get her balance. From there, it was all a blur because he was running, arms outstretched just like Coach Takatori had taught him. He could see Suze, red ponytail a bright streak against the blue sky, skirt billowing out from around her slender legs. And when he hit the ground, he could feel the warm weight of her cradled against his chest. 

They rolled twice, coming to rest a few feet from the back row.

And then, all hell broke loose. 

“Ho ma gawd!” A high-pitched voice ripped though the shock. “Ho ma gawd, the new guy just saved Suze!”

“Omigosh Suze, are you all right?” 

“Omigosh new guy, if you hadn’t been here, Suze would have died!”

Yohji groaned, eeking his arm out from underneath Suze. “My name is Yohji,” he mumbled. “Is that so hard to remember?”

“Omigosh that was unbelievable. Suze, are you sure you’re okay?”

Oddly, Suze didn’t respond. Not verbally, anyway. Instead, she pushed away from Yohji and got to her feet, brushing the dust from her uniform. 

“I need to go to the ladies room,” she said. “Ken, take over until I get back.”

Yohji struggled into a sitting position. “Hey,” he said. But Suze had already turned and started to walk away. 

“Hey,” he said again, but still no response. 

Yohji got up. “Hey, uh, Ken, I just remembered. I promised Coach I’d pick up my away uniform this afternoon, so uh...I’m gonna go do that, is that cool?”

“Yeah, fine. Go.” Ken waved him off. “All right, squad. Let’s move on to the new cheers. Formation 6!”

Yohji heard the squad shuffle into position as he broke into a jog. Suze was far enough ahead now that he had to sprint a little to catch up, but he made sure to maintain a respectful distance until they entered the school building. And once there, he unabashedly followed her into the girl’s locker room, shutting the door behind them in order not to attract unwanted attention.

“Suze?”

Suze didn’t answer him. Arms folded and head down she faced the end of a row of lockers and refused to even turn his way.

“Suze, c’mon. Don’t ignore me. I’m trying to help. You’re not hurt, are you? If you are, I’m sorry...”

“Don’t apologize.” There was something strange about her voice. “You didn’t do anything wrong, so there is nothing to apologize for.” 

“Yeah but...”

“Shut up, Yohji!” Suze looked at him over her shoulder. Her eyes were rimmed with red and there was a smear of dirt on her cheek. “I said you didn’t do anything wrong, so shut up!”

“Okay, okay.” Yohji came a little closer. “You’re not hurt?”

“No. I’m fine.”

“You sure about that?” 

Suze glared at him again, but this time, Yohji was ready. Without giving her a chance to resume yelling, he deployed his best countermeasure- the Awesome Kudoh Snuggle-Hug. Because no girl in any kind of state of emotional upset had ever been able to resist the Kudoh Snuggle-Hug. 

Suze proved to be no exception.

“He did it on purpose!” Suze buried her face in his chest, shoulders quivering with embarrassment and rage. “He dropped me on purpose to make me look bad!”

“No, he didn’t.” Yohji stroked her hair. “I promise you he didn’t. You didn’t see how fucking scared he looked when you started going over backwards.”

“He wasn’t scared. He hates me. They all hate me!” 

“No, they don’t. They’re afraid of you, but they don’t hate you.”

“You’re lying.”

“Am not.” Digging deep into his bag of mantricks, Yohji kissed the top of her head. “I don’t lie about stuff like that. It’s too important. And besides, who could hate someone like you? You’re gorgeous and passionate and super badass. What’s not to love?”

Suze pulled back, wiping her eyes. She didn’t smile even though Yohji did, and for a moment, he thought maybe complimenting her had been the wrong way to go.

“You’re full of shit,” she sniffed. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’re totally pulling this out of your ass.” 

“Yeah well that...that might actually be true, but doesn’t change the fact that they don’t hate you, Suze. Or that you’re cute. Especially when your nose is all red.” 

“You tell _anyone_ you saw me cry and I’ll kill you.” Suze tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t cry. Ever.”

“My lips are sealed,” Yohji promised. 

“They better be.” Suze straightened her uniform. “And you better get your ass back out on that field. You aren’t going to learn anything sitting in the locker room, you know.”

“Wow. Jeeze. You’re welcome. Call me any time, okay?” 

Suze tossed her hair and put her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, wasn’t it just yesterday you were telling me how I wasn’t your type? And how you don’t date anything under a C-cup?”

“Well, yeah but what does that have to do...” 

“Everything. Also, you copped a hell of a feel when you caught me, playboy, so sexytime is now over. Proxy-action with these B’s is all you’re getting.”

Yohji tried again to defend himself, but Suze was having none.

“And another thing,” she continued, “I’m well aware that I’m hot. I have at least six boys a day come up to me and try to get in my pants, so next time when you’re trying to make me feel better, come up with something more original.”

“But I was...”

“Shut _up_ , Yohji. You’re getting on my nerves. And we’ve wasted enough time as it is. Now, get back on the field and go learn something. Don’t make me regret fighting to get you on my squad!”

Yohji opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again, but then thought the better of speaking. Instead, he turned with a small smile and went over to the door. The whole time, Suze watched him, blue eyes bright and sharp against his back. She was going to make sure he knew she meant business. And she was going to make sure he never forgot that they were on the same team. 

And as he walked back to the practice fields, Yohji decided maybe life at Rosey Cross wasn’t going to be so bad after all.


	2. Challenge!  Ran and Yohji Face Off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for naughty language and a teeny reference to some inappropriate behavior.

As Mr. Nags blathered on and on, Yohji had to stifle a yawn. He was hard pressed to care about math on a good day, but whether or not x equaled the square root of Pi times 6 was especially dull when the edge of Birmadette’s panties were peeping just slightly above the waistband of her skirt. They were white, with little pink hearts, and if Suze had been there she would have kicked his chair and made some snide remark about attention whoring. And Yohji would have flipped her off and kept right on staring because...well...it was _Birmadette_. And Birmadette was _hot_.

“And so...with X equaling Q and Q equalizing Z, we can ultimately conclude that X equals Z by virtue of the transitive property of equality...”

Yohji yawned again as Birmadette shifted. The new angle showed skin- a tiny sliver of back, and Yohji was reminded of how she’d felt under his hands at practice the other day. How hard it had been to behave himself. He really needed to ask her out. Maybe he’d do it today. They’d totally been flirting, and he could totally come up with something casual that wouldn’t sound too sleazy...

“KUDOH!”

Yohji jumped, immediately looking at Mr. Nags, who was most certainly going to call Yohji out for not paying attention. But Mr. Nags wasn’t looking at him. Mr. Nags, and the rest of the class were staring at the door, where Ran stood looking pissed as hell.

“Uh...me?” Yohji questioned. 

“Yes you,” Ran growled. “We have an appointment, you and I. Tuesday after school.”

Yohji raised an eyebrow. “No, we don’t. I have practice.”

That seemed to be the entirely wrong thing to say as Ran’s face went as red as the self-inflicted Manic Panic highlights in his dark hair.

He pointed an accusing finger in Yohji’s direction. “ _You_ do not have practice because _you_ have business with me. _Major_ business.” 

“Uh, okay,” Yohji said, “But I don’t really know...” 

“BUSINESS!” 

Ran turned and swept dramatically from the room. The class murmured, and glances were cast Yohji’s way. Yohji wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed, or confused, but settled on confused when nobody said anything.

He changed his mind to embarrassed however, when the bell rang, and the day ended, and Suze and Ken intercepted him in the hall looking very grim.

“Did he find you?” Suze demanded. “What did he say?”

Yohji edged closer to the row of lockers as masses of students rushed toward their Friday afternoon freedom.

“If you mean Ran, yeah. He found me. Not like I was hiding, though.”

“What did he say?” Suze asked again. “You need to tell me what he said to you.”

“He...ow!” Yohji winced as he got a shoulder bag to the ribs. “He said we have ‘business.’ After school on Tuesday. I guess he forgot I have practice...”

“Fuck.” Suze kicked the lockers, her expression the darkest Yohji had ever seen it. “Fuck. That little _fucker_!” 

“Uh...” Yohji looked at Ken. 

Ken sighed. “I hate to say it Yohji, but this isn’t good.”

“Why? Why isn’t it good?”

“Why? _Why?_ “ Suze, in a temper, threw her hands in the air. “Because this is a motherfucking Cheer Off, Yohji! Ran is challenging your spot on the squad!”

Yohji stared. “I’m sorry,” he said at length. “Did you just say Ran wants to have a Cheer Off?”

“Not wants,” Ken corrected. “Is having. With you. Once the challenge is given, both parties must be present or it’s considered a forfeit.” 

“Come again?” 

“For the love of teenage virgins, Yohji, are you deaf? You’ve been challenged. You. Have. Been. Challenged. And if you don’t go, we lose you. It’s not that difficult.”

“Wait,” Yohji said. “Hold on. This is a real thing? An _actual thing?_ ”

“YES!” Suze exploded. “It is a real thing! When a cheerleader is replaced on a squad, he or she can challenge the captain’s ruling by having a Cheer Off with the replacement. If the original cheerleader is deemed better than the replacement, then he or she gets her spot back. If not, they give up a year of their eligibility and have to wait for try-outs to come around again.”

Yohji was still having a hard time comprehending. “So this is a rule.”

“Yup,” Ken said glumly. “Rule 8, section 5, clause 2.”

“Leave to that little fuck to find it,” Suze muttered. “Where did he even get a copy of the handbook anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Ken said. “But you bet your ass I’m gonna find out.” 

Suze started to pace. Ken frowned deeper. Eventually, the hallway cleared and it was just the three of them, a triangle of disturbed silence, huddled around some dented lockers.

“Well that’s it,” Suze said. “We’re just going to have to get you ready. Ken, text the squad and tell them there’s a change of plans and we’re meeting at your house at 5. Yohji, go change and meet me back here in ten minutes.”

“But I have practice,” Yohji tried, but Suze’s no-nonsense stare silenced him.

“I will take care of Takatori,” she said. “You get ready. And on your way, find someone who’s willing to loan you some painkillers because I’m about to put you through a boot camp the likes of which you’ve never seen.”

****  
If only Suze were the type of girl prone to exaggeration.

Two hours after leaving for Ken’s house, Yohji was hating life more than he’d ever hated life before. 

“That sucked, do it again.”

“Suuuuuuuzzzeee,” Yohji whined.

Suze folded her arms. “Don’t ‘Suze’ me, Kudoh. You were supposed to have been working on these skills in your free time, but obviously you haven’t because you’re _sucking balls._ ”

“I have so! I’ve done my hercies and my push ups every day!”

“Hercies and push ups are the least of your worries if you can’t even complete a basket toss. Now get up.” 

Yohji groaned.

“GET _UP_!” Suze commanded.

Yohji staggered to his feet and limped back into formation. Birmadette gave him a sympathetic smile.

“From the second tumbling pass,” Suze said. “On Ken. 5,6,7,8!” 

Ken spun across the lawn. Girls flew in the air. Yohji focused hard on holding it together, and on catching Birmadette when she twirled gracefully down into his arms. He even managed to land two round-offs with reasonable precision as they hit their finishing pose.

“Finally.” Suze didn’t look happy, but she looked less pissed off. “Thank you for not fucking that up, Kudoh, you’d almost think you knew what you were doing.” 

Yohji cursed under his breath. Birmadette giggled.

“So that’s a wrap,” Suze went on. “Practice tomorrow starts at 7 a.m. If you are on time, you are late. No excuses. Come ready to work.” 

There was shuffling and muffled conversation as everyone but Yohji got their stuff and headed off Ken’s front lawn. Ken’s feet appeared in Yohji’s line of vision.

“Tough break, man, but you gotta get better.” Ken helped Yohji to his feet. “For once, Suze isn’t being a tyrant just to get a rise out of you.”

“I heard that,” Suze growled. “Though Ken’s right, this is for your own good.”

“What good am I to anyone if I can’t even walk?” Yohji winced as his calf muscles protested upright movement. “And how do we know Ran won’t be over this whole thing by Monday?”

Ken and Suze looked at each other, then back at Yohji.

“You don’t know Ran,” Suze said. “To say he’s persistent would be like saying piranhas eat meat.”

“Or that our principal is a perv.” Ken narrowly managed to dodged Suze’s elbow. “Once he gets his mind set on something, you can’t distract him.”

“Besides,” Suze added. “I don’t want him. I want you. And while that _should_ be reason enough to make whatever damn decision I want, apparently it just isn’t. So even on the off chance he _does_ change his mind, you will meet him Tuesday and make him look utterly pathetic. Just to prove that you don’t fuck with the Rebels. And you sure as _hell_ don’t fuck with me!” 

Suze’s eyes blazed and Yohji found himself backing away, bumping into Ken as he did. 

Ken caught him before he fell on his ass. 

“Get yourself home,” Ken said. “Take a long, hot bath and don’t think about how much worse it’s going to feel in the morning.”

“Wow,” Yohji said. “Really?” 

“Really,” Ken affirmed. “Now go. Before she changes her mind and makes you start working again.” 

*****  
Saturday passed in a blur. Sunday passed in a haze of ice and painkillers, and before Yohji knew it, Monday was Tuesday, and Tuesday was Tuesday afternoon, and Yohji was walking toward the practice field in his Rebels uniform to the silent, wide-eyed stares of more than half of the student body. 

“Do they know?” he asked as Ken came up beside him.

“Of course they know,” Ken replied. “Cheer Offs need witnesses.”

“Witnesses?”

“Yeah. For fairness. The witnesses serve to keep the judging panel impartial.”

Yohji winced. “Please, please, _please_ tell me you’re joking.”

“Why would I be joking? How did you think this would be decided?”

“I dunno! Last one standing wins?”

Ken shook his head. “It’s a cheer-off, not a shoot out. Every other cheer contest in the world has judges, so why would this one be any different?”

“Why indeed,” Yohji muttered as Ken jogged ahead. Suze was at the other end of the hallway, looking every inch the cheertator she claimed herself to be. They exchanged a few hushed words and then went outside, leaving Yohji to continue down the gauntlet alone.

“Kudoh.” 

Yohji jumped. While he’d been distracted, Jay the linebacker had snuck up behind him with at least half of the football team. “Are you on the way to your contest, Kudoh?”

“Er, yeah,” Yohji said. “And, uh, sorry about having to miss yesterday.”

“Mmm. It was irritating, but as long as your victory is certain, we will not hold a grudge.” Jay eyed him. “Your victory _is_ certain, isn’t it?”

“Um...”

“Yohji! Let’s go. The judges are waiting.” Suze wasn’t smiling, but then when did she ever when it came to him? “You’ll get penalized for lateness, so move it.”

“Okay, I’m coming.” Yohji glanced at Jay. “I can’t say anything is certain, but I’ll do my best. And I’ll catch up with you guys later, all right?”

Jay nodded solemnly, and Yohji took the last few yards of the corridor at a run, coming up on Suze who was holding the door.

On the other side said door, the field was packed.

Yohji swallowed past the lump in his throat. _Everyone_ had come, and as Ken had indicated, there was a panel of three judges sitting in front of the mob of students. The three judges were adults- two teachers Yohji vaguely recognized, and then a third woman who made him do a double take.

“Holy shit,” he whispered. “Is that...”

“Is that who?” Suze snapped.

“The woman in the leopard print. Is that Roxanna Ostermann? The model that goes by ‘Manx’ that works for Viv...”

Suze hit him so hard he lost his breath.

“You shut your mouth,” she hissed. “You shut it right now and don’t you _ever_ speak of that again!”

“But...” 

“Yooo hoo!” Roxanna stood up, her 4-inch heels making her look gigantic next to the judging table. “Is this our missing gentleman?”

“This is,” Suze affirmed. “We can start.” 

“Lovely! Yohji, Ran. Come to the table, please.”

Yohji cast a sidelong glance at Ran, who had obviously arrived earlier and who was looking poised and relaxed. He wasn’t wearing a uniform, but that didn’t seem to be a requirement. 

“The cheer off will consist of three parts,” Roxanna informed them once they’d assembled, “a skills test, a stunt test and a choreography section. Each judge will record an individual score for each competitor and the average of all three scores will be the point value earned for that round. In the event of a tie, the student judges will weigh in and the winner will be declared. All standard cheer competition rules apply. Any questions?”

Both Yohji and Ran shook their heads.

“Wonderful,” Roxanne said brightly. “Let us begin!”

Yohji and Ran went back to the middle of the grass. Suze joined them. On her call, they performed a series of skills and passes. Yohji hated to admit it, but Ran was better than him at tumbling. He made almost everything he did look effortless, while Yohji was still convinced he was going to face plant every single time he did a back tuck.

When the smattering of applause died down, Roxanna and the judges flipped their score sheets.

“Will the chosen stunting partners please take the field?”

Birmadette and another girl joined them. Again, on Suze’s call, they went through several stunts. Yohji took secret pride in the fact that Ran stumbled more than once, and that, while not flawless, his own stunts were clean and sharp. And on her way off, Birmadette gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. Yohji felt a surge of confidence.

“Mmm, boys. You aren’t making this easy.” Roxanna gave them a flirty smile. “Let’s move on to choreography. Yohji, you’re up first, darling.”

Yohji tried to smile, but it must have come out as more of a strange grimace because Suze flapped her hands at him and made upward sweeping gestures around her mouth. Trying again, Yohji bared his teeth, raised his chin and assumed his opening posture. 

Ken cued his music.

His routine was pretty basic, very perky, and filled with lots of jumps. Suze had tried to play to his strengths and Yohji had always been pretty springy. He tried to keep in mind the critiques Suze had drilled into him- keep smiling, make eye contact, and make every movement twice as big as you think it ought to be. 

And at the end of 2 minutes, he finished, exhausted but fairly sure he’d executed his piece well. 

The crowd applauded.

“Thank you, Yohji,” Roxanna said. “Ran?”

Ran strode to the middle of the field. He was carrying a wooden staff, and assumed a very curious stance as he waited for his song to cue up.

And what followed was even more...interesting.

There was nothing “cheer” about it. In fact, it looked sort of murderous as Ran twirled and bounced around yelling things like “die” and “vengeance!” Glancing over, Yohji noticed Ken looking a little perturbed. And Suze was rolling her eyes so hard, Yohji was worried she might give herself a nosebleed.

But the crowd was applauding even before Ran finished, driving the wooden stick into the ground and falling to his knees.

“Thank you, Ran.” Roxanna flashed yet another dazzling smile. “You may rest.” She turned to the crowd. “Judges will deliberate and results should be announced shortly. Please help yourself to the refreshment table and...what is it the kids say these days? Get your mingle on?”

Roxanna tittered at her own joke, and the crowd broke up. Most of the students wandered off to get snacks or drinks, though the football team remained nearby, huddled up and chatting. 

Ken and Suze steered Yohji in the direction of the rest of the Rebels.

“Oh Yohji, you were awesome!” Upon seeing them, Birmadette ran over and pressed herself against Yohji’s side. “Your choreo was really great!” 

Trying not to beam, Yohji put his arm around Birmadette’s shoulder. “Thanks. And thanks for being such a great partner.” 

Birmadette blushed. “Oh _you_ ,” she giggled, but she looked incredibly pleased. 

“You guys do make a great pair,” another girl said. “Way better than Birmie and Ran do.” 

“You think so?”

“For sure. And we all like you better anyway, Yohji.” 

There was a round of giggles and Yohji felt warm. Standing amongst them, he realized how fond he’d become of the Rebel squad, and Birmadette snuggling up into him was certainly making him feel like his expulsion was a far-distant possibility. But it worried him that Suze wasn’t looking nearly as assured, and he reluctantly broke away from Birmadette to get her opinion on the matter.

“So,” Yohji said. “What do you think? Did I win?”

“I don’t know,” Suze said. 

“You think he was better?”

“It’s more complicated than that. I hate to say it, but this isn’t going to come down to who’s better.”

“What do you mean? Ken said the judging panel was supposed to be impartial!”

“Yes, well, that was before _she_ showed up, now wasn’t it?” 

“Yoooo hooooooo!” As if on cue, Roxanna came teetering across the grass. She had an envelope in her hand and a bright smile on her perfectly painted lips. “Darlings! I have resuuuuulllts!”

The Rebels rushed to surround her. Roxanna muddled through them, handing Yohji his envelope, and Yohji took it, shaking a little. Roxanna remained as he tore it open, eyes scanning the paper within. 

“I scored a 25,” he said, “Out of 35.”

“That’s great!” Birmadette clapped excitedly. “That’s really great, Yohji.”

“It’s wonderful,” Roxanna agreed. “And admirable showing for a first-timer. However, Ran scored a 27, so I’m sorry Yohji, but you didn’t win.”

The knot of cheerleaders went silent. All eyes turned to Roxanna.

“I...what?” Yohji questioned.

“You lost,” Roxanna told him. “By two points. I’m so sorry.”

No one spoke. Not even Suze who looked like she was on the verge of a nuclear meltdown. 

“Awww, don’t look so glum.” Roxanna patted him consolingly. “Better luck next year. After all, you’re only a junior, right?”

Yohji nodded, but more out of habit than by conscious choice. He’d lost. _He’d lost._ How was that even possible? He’d done everything he was supposed to and Ran...Ran...

“Honestly, it’s just cheerleading,” Roxanna went on. “I know it may seem like the sun rises and sets on it, but in reality, it’s not even considered a sport in most circles!”

Lightning fast, Ken grabbed Suze around the waist and turned her away from the crowd. 

Yohji barely noticed. 

Roxanna uttered a few more choice words and flitted off in a whirl of leopard and red.

The Rebels remained behind. 

Yohji stared at his feet, fist clenching around the paper in his hand. He’d _lost_. 

His cheer career was over.


End file.
